Even though we’re deep into the 21st Century, the idea of women proposing to men is still foreign to many people. This is largely because men have been the marriage “proposers” throughout most cultures around the world for hundreds of years. Naturally, this kind of established tradition isn’t going to be upended overnight.
That said, times are changing, and both men and women are becoming increasingly comfortable with the idea of a woman proposing to a man. However, if you’re still on the fence about it, you’re definitely not alone. Most engagements are still initiated by men, which leaves many people wondering what the proper etiquette is for marriage proposals between men and women.
For example, you might be asking yourself: Can a woman propose to a man? What percentage of proposals are initiated by the woman? Is there still a stigma against women proposing to men?
In today’s guide, we will answer all of these questions and more, so let’s get started!
Can Women Propose To Men?
We’re just going to get straight to the point. Can the woman propose to the man? Absolutely! The reality is that engagement and marriage traditions have been evolving for centuries. While certain things like proposals and wedding dresses are pretty established parts of marriage culture in the United States and many other countries, none of these traditions are set in stone. Women are just as capable of getting on one knee and proposing to men as men are of getting on one knee and proposing to women!
The only reason this is even a question is because, historically, men are the ones expected to propose marriage. The first “modern” proposal involving an engagement ring dates all the way back to Archduke Maximilian of Austria, who proposed to Mary of Burgundy in 1477. This set off a chain reaction of engagement ring proposals throughout the courts of Europe. As engagement rings made with diamonds and precious metals became more accessible to “non-royals,” these same traditions spread to the masses.
In more recent times, a variety of factors have led to the expectation that men should propose to women. In the 19th Century, “courting” became the new way of developing relationships between men and women, particularly in Europe and North America. Men would express their romantic interest in a woman, get to know the woman, and work to impress them, before finally proposing an engagement with a ring. Today, this process has evolved into “dating,” which is just a variation of the courting system of the 1800s. In any case, this tradition put the impetus on men to “make the first move” and propose.
However, the 20th Century saw many evolutions in relationships between men and women, as well as the gender roles men and women are expected to play. As more and more women entered the workforce and became independent, there was a shift in expectations. Suddenly, women no longer had to wait around for a man to “save” them from becoming spinsters. Instead, they could remain completely independent or take matters into their own hands and propose!
But once again, it’s important to note that long-standing traditions are not easy to change, especially in our collective psyche. As a general rule, society still expects men to propose and women to wait for a proposal. However, as we’ll cover in the next section, there are still plenty of women who choose to defy expectations.
How Often Do Women Propose To Men?
There are a lot of really interesting and eye-opening statistics related to engagements and marriage proposals. By most estimates, somewhere between 2% and 5% of heterosexual women propose. This means that the percentage of marriages between men and women that are initiated by men is somewhere around 96%. As you can see, times have not changed as much as we think!
While not that many women are doing the proposing (at least compared to men), attitudes toward woman-initiated engagements have shifted drastically over the past few decades. According to one survey conducted by Glamor Magazine in 2015, 70% of men would welcome a proposal from their female partners. Additionally, a larger percentage of men and women are shopping for engagement rings together and even planning proposals together, shifting the responsibility away from the man alone and toward the couple.
Tips For Your Proposal
Women who are planning to propose need to do just as much prep work as men — if not more! There are subtle differences in the outcomes and perceptions of a woman proposing to a man, so here are some tips to help make the process as comfortable and romantic as possible:
- Know Your Partner Well - While about 70% of men are perfectly comfortable being proposed to by a woman, this still means that 30% are not. So, make sure you know where your partner stands on the issue. Some men may feel emasculated by a woman proposing since society often expects men to take the initiative.
- Communicate With Your Partner - This is an extension of the first step, but it’s still vitally important. You might be tempted to make the proposal a complete surprise, but if you’re feeling at all insecure about the idea of proposing to your man, you should discuss it with them. Not only can this help you feel less nervous about the proposal, but it could also give you valuable information about your partner’s wants and expectations. This is especially important when it comes to the type of ring you choose, as many men may not want something with a big, ornate stone or more feminine designs.
- Plan Your Proposal Environment - As with any proposal, you need to plan the timing and environment in advance. Based on discussions with your partner, you can decide to do your proposal in public or private. If you want to have a public proposal but you’re unsure how people will react, consider planning a public proposal where you’re surrounded by supportive friends and family.
- Be Confident - It can be daunting to be a woman proposing to a man. You’re defying expectations, but you’re also doing something brave and empowering. Don’t lose your confidence; celebrate the fact that you’re taking life by the horns and expressing your love and commitment at the same time!
Finding The Perfect Engagement Ring
Are you a woman planning to propose to a man? Are you unsure what kind of engagement ring to get? Finally, are you looking for an affordable engagement ring that will meet your exceed your partner’s expectations? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, Have You Seen The Ring can help.
At HYSTR, we offer a marketplace with thousands of pre-owned engagement rings for sale. The benefit of choosing a pre-owned ring is that you can get a lot more bang for your buck. Plus, you can browse through tons of vintage designs that you simply can’t find in a traditional jewerly store. So, if you’re ready to pop the question and start your engagement on the right foot, be sure to check out our collection to find the perfect engagement ring!
We hope you enjoyed our guide on women proposing to men! Are you currently trying to buy or sell a used engagement ring? If so, be sure to contact HYSTR today!